


Switched

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bodyswap, Drama, Established Relationship, First Time, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:10:15
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8692360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam Winchester fell asleep that night expecting to be awakened by Dean the next day so that they could move onto their next hunt. What he didn't expect was to awaken in a motel to two Deans and... his mother.And...Sam Campbell fell asleep in the Impala to his mother telling him that they were heading to Nebraska to help his twin older brothers out with a hunt. What he didn't expect was to awaken in a dingy motel bed next to his brother...





	1. prologue ~ vision of another life

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This is a What If? story. What if, in another reality, Mary had survived and John died when the boys were little? How would that change the dynamic of the boys? What If our Sam or Dean got _switched_ with one of their alters? This is that story...
> 
> This is the story.
> 
> Character Death: Not one of the boys... at least not yet...

_Creve Coeur, IL ~ 10 P.M. CT_

 

Samuel Campbell looked over a his mother who was finishing up a phone call with his older brother, Dean.

 

“Alright, we’ll be there,” she said and then flipped her cell phone shut. She turned her green gaze to him and said, “We’re heading over to Lincoln, Nebraska to help your brothers out on a hunt.”

 

“What’re they hunting?” Sam said stifling a yawn.

 

“A werewolf,” she turned her gaze back to him for a second, her wavy blonde hair swinging as she did so.

 

“Honey, if you’re tired you can sleep. We’ll get there just fine. Don’t worry.” She smiled reassuringly at him and Samuel just settled down in his seat and let his mind drift.

 

As soon as it did, his mind’s eye seemed to open up and he was suddenly in the thrall of a vision. And a pretty powerful one at that. It was almost the same vision as he had seen countless times over the last month and a half, himself and his eldest brother going hunting and what not. But the only difference was that sometimes he would get visions when they were “intimate”.

 

Samuel always felt a sting of jealousy when he would be plagued by those visions. It was the one thing he couldn’t have here. His Dean was too afraid to take that step, fearing that their mother would up and leave them. And Samuel would always feel a stab of sorrow in his heart at what Dean wouldn’t, but could, have with him.

 

And so Samuel watched as this other life unfolded before him... feeling as he always did when he was plagued by these visions, wanting to be that Sam and to have what he should have... Dean.

* * * * * *

_St. Louis, MI ~ 10 P.M. CT_

 

Sam Winchester held onto Dean as he fell asleep. They had just gotten done making love for the third time that day and this last time had really been the best so far. Sure, they were new to the whole being lovers thing, what with them only having been doing this kinda thing since after the whole faith-healer reaper hunt. But by Sam’s standards they were doing fine.

 

Nothing had really changed, Dean was still his horn-dog self and Sam was still Sam... except Sam had begun to feel in the last month or so that someone or something was watching him...

 

It was strange and as he fell, asleep cuddled into Dean’s warm body, he tried to shake the feeling of being watched...


	2. 1 ~ it's time to wake up samuel...

_St. Louis, MI ~ 9 A.M. CT_

 

Samuel bolted upright when the alarm went off a few inches from where his face was pressed into the pillow.

 

And as his hand slammed down upon the snooze button of the alarm, where he was at began to sink into his foggy brain. And as it did, his eyes widened and he scrambled from the sleeping form of his eldest brother's twin.

 

"Daniel!? What the...?!" Samuel screamed, seeing this as a joke that Daniel was playing on him. He and his mother must have gotten to Lincoln earlier than thought and they must have brought him in to sleep. And Daniel must have thought it would be cute to freak Sam out and embrass him and Dean about their secret feelings. Sam glared down at Daniel as his brother's jade green eyes opened sleepily, his brownish-blonde hair rumpled and sticking every-which-way.

 

"Sammy?" said the deep, sleep-laden voice of his brother.

 

"Don't call me that, Daniel. You know only Dean gets to call me that!" Sam was now darting looks at the one bed motel room and began to wonder where his mother and Dean were.

 

"Where are Mom and Dean, Dan? Did they go out to get the werewolf?"

 

That was when Daniel bolted upright and said, "Sammy what the fuck are you talking about? Mom's been dead for years and why... are you calling me Daniel?"

 

Samuel's eyes began to widen, fear beginning to take hold and he felt himself shaking. The vision from when he'd fallen asleep... it wasn't possible... was it?

 

"Because, you're Dean's twin... Daniel. Only you like to keep your hair short and Dean likes it longer... because then I can mess with him and call him a girl..." Samuel said trailing off as his mind registered the beginning part of the second sentence this man had said.

 

His mom was dead?

 

"Mom's not dead... Dad was the one who died in the fire..."

 

Daniel's eyes looked at him cautiously, "Ok... um... I think we should go see Missouri, maybe she can help..."

 

"What do you mean? Missouri's dead! She’s been dead since my thirteenth birthday! You know that Daniel!"

 

"My name is Dean. Dean Winchester! And for fucks sake Sammy what is wrong with you?! Are you getting visions again? If so, we're going to see Missouri. She should be able to help."

 

Samuel just stared as the man who looked like Daniel but claimed to be Dean got up and threw on some clothes and shoved things into two duffel bags, throwing some clothes at Samuel before saying, "We're going. Get ready. Now."

 

Samuel bit his lip, a nervous behaviour he had had since a child, and quietly walked to the bathroom, to get ready so that he and this man who looked like Daniel, but claimed to be Dean could leave as soon as possible.

 

This man had said he was going to take them to see Missouri. But how was that possible? She was dead, wasn't she? Samuel was sure that she was. Just like he'd told that man.

 

He shook his head softly as he closed the bathroom door behind himself.

 

Samuel took a deep, calming breath and stepped up to the sink. He quickly turned on the faucet and was about to brush his teeth when he caught sight of his reflection.

 

All he could do was blink for a few minutes. The face in the mirror was his. Yet at the same time it wasn't.

 

Dark brown hair curled and waved all over, thick bangs falling to just below the eyebrows. Hair fell over his ears and curled around the back of his neck, sticking out slightly. It was the same hair as always, but it was shorter.

 

He also noticed that his eyes, while still the same hazel as always, had a slight, almost gunmetal blue coloring. There was the deep green and the earthy brown, but almost shyly there was that other color.

 

The next thing he took in was the slight stubble that grew on his face. He stared at it in almost abject horror. He hated facial hair! He shaved every single day. Why the hell did he have stubble?

 

That was when a realization hit him. This wasn't him. This was someone else. Someone who looked exactly like him.

 

And like a memory long forgotten, the images from the vision he'd had last night filtered through his head.

 

He saw and felt tears beginning to well up in the corners of those hazel eyes. This wasn't his world. And that scared the living hell out of him.

 

Samuel quickly brushed his teeth and showered. After that he left the bathroom, just a towel slung around his hips and walked to a duffel bag sitting next to the left side of the king-sized bed. He slipped into the oddly scratchy flannel shirt and dark blue jeans. He quietly wondered if this was just some elaborate joke, because getting him flannels was just so not funny, or if this was real and he had somehow switched lives with the Sam from his visions.


	3. 2 ~ sam & the twins

_Lincoln, NE ~ 5 A.M. CT_

 

Sam was jarred awake by someone shaking his shoulder. He swatted the hand away and said, "Dean, five more minutes. Then we can go after the banshee..."

 

"Sam, you have really weird dreams, dude. And I'm not Dean, It's me, Daniel. Now get your ass up. Mom said we gotta get going."

 

Sam opened his eyes slowly, his mind trying to work through the last sentence that Dean had said. Once his eyes opened and he looked up, there stood two versions of Dean, one that looked like Dean should and the other one had longer hair that fell below his shoulders and had more hazel-green eyes than jade eyes. But the facial features were the same and so were the body builds.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Yeah, Sammy?" the longer-haired Dean said, his brow furrowing in worry.

 

"What's going on? I was talking to - you," Sam said, pointing his finger at the one the looked exactly like his brother.

 

That one laughed and said, "Oh, boy, you are a riot today, Sam! Better get your head out of dreamland, it was cute when you confused me and Dean for one another when you where younger, but now to fuel your own incestuous lust... well stop making us one in your dreams..."

 

"Daniel! Shut the fuck up man! Just grab your shit and go out to Mom. I'll deal with Sammy."

 

"Fine, but I really wish he would stop making us into one person all the damn time, it's not cute anymore."

 

"Dan just go!" And the one with long hair called Dean shoved his twin out of the room.

 

"Sammy, are you ok?" he said, coming over and gently laid his hand on Sam's face, feeling his temperature.

 

Sam was thoroughly confused, but wondered if it was possible that he had somehow fallen into a parallel world... or was maybe stuck in some dreamworld?

 

"Ah," Sam said, pushing himself up and grabbing at the clothes that were piled on the floor by the small motel bed he was in, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just need to get up and going... Sorry about that Dean. Really I am."

 

"Ok. Well, come outside when you get ready, Mom's waiting. And Daniel and I really need help with this damn werewolf."

 

As he walked out Sam stared at his back, one thought in his head coming through all this confusion. Mom? But she was dead! Wasn't she?

 

He shook his head and headed for the bathroom. Once there he stood in front of the sink, running water and just splashing his face. He had to get a grip. He wasn't even sure what was going on.

 

Sighing, he glanced towards his reflection in the mirror.

 

The young man staring back at him had him blinking a few times, confusion coloring the angular face.

 

Dark brown hair that curled and waved just like he was used to, but only longer. It fell down to about his cheekbones in the front and almost to his shoulders in the back. It would have it didn't curl so much.

 

And as his eyes roamed down, he found himself falling into the hazel gaze of his reflection. The eyes were hazel alright, but they were more of a greenish-gold mixed with a sienna brown. And there was no trace of that gunmetal blue that he'd inherited from his father. None.

 

Feeling as if his heart was going to burst out of his chest at any moment, Sam swept his gaze downward still. The face in the mirror was so much like his own, but unlike his own, there wasn't a days worth of stubble. The skin was smooth and soft looking.

 

Sam reached up and trailed his fingers over his face. The skin was indeed smooth and soft, almost baby soft.

 

That was when a disturbing realization hit him. This wasn't him. This was... He just knew it wasn't him. Just like those men weren't his brothers. And then he remembered the one calling himself Dean say something about their mom.

 

Feeling bile rising up, he clenched his other hand and breathed deeply. Turning away from the mirror, Sam hurriedly washed and changed into the clothes he'd found.

 

Slipping into the long-sleeved sweater and jeans he felt a little out of his skin, these were not his preferred clothes. For one, he liked flannels. For two, he never wore jeans this tight. He could feel the fabric practically squeezing his ass and thighs. Not to mention his crotch.

 

Breathing deeply once again, he turned the knob and exited the bathroom. His gaze flicked around the room and finally to the three silhouettes outside the window.

 

Was the feminine silhouette really his mom?


	4. 3 ~ visiting missouri

_Lawerence, KS - 10 P.M. CT_

 

Samuel stared at quaint house that he and Dean had pulled up in front of, the pale white of the clapboard glowing slightly in the moonlight.

 

And then the door opened and there stood Missouri Mosely.

 

"Oh dear Lord," the black woman said, putting a hand to her chest. "You're not Sam Winchester. Who are you, sugar?"

 

"Samuel Campbell. He," Samuel said pointing to the guy who looked a lot like Daniel but said his name was Dean, "said his name is Dean Winchester. Can you help me?" Samuel bit his bottom lip nervously.

 

"Come on in boys, we'll get this figured out," Missouri said, motioning for the two of them to go inside.

 

Once they were seated on the couch in her living room with Missouri sitting across from them, Samuel said, "Missouri, how did this happen? How did I end up here with him and not wake up next to my mother in the Impala?"

 

Missouri took a while to respond, seeming to weigh her words. When her dark eyes did look at him, Samuel felt as if she were looking deep and seeing his soul and feeling as if...

 

"Well, sugar, maybe you can explain that. And maybe Dean's Sam can too. You both have the psychic gift. It has to have something to do with that."

 

"You're a psychic? Like my Sammy?" Samuel looked at Dean, who looked so much like Daniel but acted so much like Dean... the Dean he wanted... the Dean he loved and knew loved him, but just wouldn't act upon his feelings.

 

"Yeah... I sort of... get visions..." Samuel said biting his lip and picking at his fingernails.

 

"Visions of what?" Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

 

"Of... ah..." Samuel swallowed the lump in his throat. "Of you."


	5. 4 ~ feelings

_Lincoln, NE_

 

Sam stared down at the golden haired woman who stood before him. She was dressed simply, just a pair of worn blue jeans, a tan jacket covered a frilly white blouse, and scuffed boots.

 

"Sam, come on. We have to get going," the woman said, her soft voice edged with impatience.

 

"Yeah, sure..." Sam said his mind reeling at seeing his mother. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but he wasn't about to push it. At least not yet.

 

Something was off about all of this, but Sam wasn't sure what to do about it all. For starters he really wanted to know why the hell Dean had a twin that looked more like Dean than the one called Dean? And secondly, why was his mother alive? And thirdly, how in the hell was he going to figure out what strange world he'd fallen into?!

 

"Sammy c'mon!" Dean called. Sam stared for a second at him, taking in all that he was. He was the one called Dean but he didn't act like Dean. The other one... Daniel? He seemed to act more like Dean.

 

Sam walked towards the Impala and climbed into the front passenger seat, sitting next to Dean.

 

"So, you ready to face off against a werewolf, Sammy?"

 

"Yeah, sure. Why are you acting like it's my first werewolf?"

 

Dean just stared at him, his greenish-hazel eyes bewildered.

 

"Because this is... you're first time going up against one. What's gotten into you Sammy?"

 

"Uh... nothing, Dean. I'm just feeling a little under the weather is all." Sam turned away from the man sitting across from him and stared out the window. He watched as his mother and Daniel got into another vehicle. Sam felt tears spring to his eyes as he watched his mother get into the other car... something was pulling at his heartstrings and he felt as if he wouldn't be able to hold back the flood that was surely to happen.

 

"Sammy? You OK?"

 

Sam blinked back his tears and turned his face towards Dean's.

 

"Yeah, Dean. I'm alright. Let's just go get the werewolf."

 

"Alright, Sammy."

 

And as Dean started up the Impala and followed his twin and mother something pulled at his heart... something was wrong with his Sammy... and he would make it right between them. He had to. For his sake and Sam's. Fuck what his mother thought. He didn't want to lose the only one he'd ever loved more than anything.

*****

As the werewolf fell down in a slump in front of Sam, he took a deep breath and then stared up at his mother and the twins.

 

His mother smiled at him and the twins looked impressed.

 

"You did very good Sam. Now that damned creature will not hurt anyone anymore. Now, lets get going. We gotta take the young girl and her brother back."

 

She walked towards the little girl and her brother and helped them from their hiding spot. Sam watched silently and then Dean was there, leaning down to help him up. Sam clasped his hand and that was when it happened. His head started pounding and their was a shrill ringing in his ears. His vision swam and then he was assaulted with an intense vision...

 

_**"Sammy... we can't."** _

__

_**He felt... Pain, hurt, betrayal. All of it burning inside of him.** _

__

_**"W-what do you mean?"** _

__

_**"We can't, Sammy. We're brothers."** _

__

_**"So? Dean..."** _

__

_**"No."** _

__

_**"It never mattered to you before!"** _

__

_**"I didn't realize what was happening Sammy. Now I do. We can't do this. We..."** _

__

_**He felt his bottom lip trembling, feeling hurt and angry. But underneath it all was love. Love for Dean.** _

__

_**"Sammy... Please..."** _

__

_**He jumped down from the hood of the Impala and walk briskly back to the front door.** _

__

_**He heard Dean get up to follow after. Suddenly a strong hand wrapped around his upper arm.** _

__

_**To stop him.** _

__

_**"Let go of me, Dean!"** _

__

_**He felt Dean recoil as if he had been slapped. Dean let go that fast.** _

__

_**He turned to look at his brother, tears falling silently down his face.** _

__

_**"You don't get it, do you, Dean? I love you, damn it! So much. You're the only one who keeps me grounded. Who... who doesn't make me feel like a monster!"** _

__

_**"Sammy... You're not-"** _

__

_**"Shut up, Dean! You apparently don't love me the same as I love you. So, save it!"** _

__

_**His chest heaved, it was getting harder to breathe, his emotions were that strong.** _

__

_**"You're too worried about what Mom would say? Well, what about Dad? Do you think he'd care that we'd found love with one another? NO! He loved us no matter what. But you're just too afraid, Dean. So, fine. We'll go back to how we were. And you won't have to feel dirty or gross because of me. Because of this. We'll be brothers and nothing more."** _

__

_**He turned away and walked into the house, slamming the door behind himself. A few minutes later he heard the rumble of the Impala as it sped away. Only then did he let his sorrow reign and his tears fall hotly down his cheeks.** _

 

"Sam? Sammy?!"

 

Sam blinked his eyes. He felt as if a freight train had smacked him a few thousand times. He took a deep breath and then stared into the green-hazel eyes that were Dean's.

 

What the hell was going on with himself? A vision? Calling that man Dean, realizing that he loved him? Feeling the hurt and betrayal at not being able to love him like he wanted? But this wasn't even his world!

 

And yet... Sam felt as if this was his world. His brother standing before him. And behind him, were his mother and other brother, looking at him with concern while trying to usher the boy and girl from where they were hiding.

 

"Dean?"

 

"Yeah, Sammy. It's me." The smile that graced Sam made his heart sing and something pulled at him.

 

"You OK? What did you see?"

 

"I saw... ah... nothing. I just think this whole thing has gotten to me. First werewolf and all," Sam replied a slight nervous laugh following.

 

"Here, lemme help you up," Dean said, wrapping his arm around Sam's middle.

 

Sam stood, almost a good three inches taller than Dean, in his world and this one, and he looked downward into Dean's eyes. Eyes that held love, hidden deeply, but not too deep.

 

And as they all walked back to the cars, Sam knew he had another mystery to solve.


	6. 5 ~ and then there was another...

_Lawrence, KS_

 

Samuel stared down at his hands, waiting for something to happen. For someone to say something... or rather for the man across from him to say something...

 

"You've been getting visions of me?" Dean asked.

 

Samuel looked up and then shied away from the look of absolute incredulousness that was in Dean's eyes.

 

_When did I start calling him Dean?_

 

"Ah... yes. Well of you and me..."

 

"You mean my Sam? You're clearly not my Sam..."

 

"What are you talking about? Of course I am..." Samuel said, trailing off as his mind suddenly went all foggy and he suddenly cradled his head in his hands.

 

"Dean...? Dean, what are... No!" Samuel screamed as a vision overtook him...

 

_**Dean stood before him, staring at him, his green eyes blazing. "Samuel, I'm sorry. I can't take this. I need my Sam, damn it! I need him. Not you! And if this is how I get him back, then so be it." And Samuel watched as Dean clicked off the safety on his pistol and aimed it at him. Missouri stood in the background, silently watching. And then something happened and a swirling blackhole opened in the room just as Dean fired the gun...** _

 

"Sam? Samuel!"

 

Samuel slowly blinked his eyes open and focused on the still figure above him. He wondered briefly how he'd gotten on the floor, but when the face of the figure above him filtered through his foggy vision he cowered away and shrunk into himself. He wanted his Dean, not this other Dean... especially if this one was going to kill him!

 

And then Samuel began to cry, the tears flowing freely. They burned down his cheeks and that was when he fell inside of himself and someone else took over. Someone who would protect him and make sure nothing would ever hurt him.

*****

Dean watched as the young man who looked so much like his brother cowered away from his touch. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and realized that he cared for this young man.

 

"Missouri, what's going on? Can you help us?"

 

"Dean, this isn't our Sam. This is another one, from another time, another place. That much I can sense from him. And this one is much more powerful than ours. There is a force inside him that is strong and..."

 

And Dean watched as Missouri was flung backwards and crashed into the far wall.

 

"Missouri!" Dean yelled as he ran towards her.

 

"I don't think so, Dean."

 

And Dean found that he was stuck in place, unable to move or blink. And that's when his eyes met the dark violet ones of the young man before him. The one who only moments ago was cowering in sadness and fear.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

The young man looked at him coolly. "I'm protecting Samuel is what I'm doing."

 

"And just who are you?" Dean heard Missouri ask, her voice loud and authoritive.

 

Dean watched as the violet eyes flicked from him to where Missouri must have been and the young man said, "I am Samael. And I am Samuel's other half. The one that made it possible for your Sam and Samuel to switch."


	7. 6 ~ violet eyes

_Lawerence, KS ~ circa 1989_

 

Mary stared down at her youngest son. He was sleeping fitfully again, just like the past two weeks... She didn't know what was going on.

 

She caressed her hand over Sammy's forehead. And that's when she knew something was wrong. He was burning up. His skin was fiercely hot and alarm was suddenly apparent in the blonde woman's eyes.

 

She quickly checked him all over and found that his whole body was burning up. And he was getting so hot... just touching his skin caused her skin to burn horribly and Mary smelled burned flesh.

 

She turned her hands over and noticed that boils were forming on her fingertips and palms. And now, thoroughly alarmed she called the only person she knew she could trust. Missouri Mosely.

 

And within a few minutes the gentle black woman as knocking on Mary's front door.

 

"Missouri, thank God. You have to help me. It's Sammy!"

 

"Just take me too him."

 

And so Mary walked back to Sam's bedroom, but when both women got there they were not prepared for the scene that met their eyes.

 

Six-year-old Samuel Campbell was sitting up in his bed, playing idly with his toy trucks. And that in itself wouldn't have been strange, except that they were floating in the air before the youngster!

 

"Sammy?!"

 

And when her son turned his face to look up at her, Mary hand to place a hand to her mouth for instead of her baby's eyes being the soft hazel that she had come to love, the only thing that really truly reminded her of her John, they were a bright, incensed violet.

 

"My name is Samael, Mary. Not Sammy. And Missouri, what are you doing here?" Mary was taken aback by the deep voice that emanated from her baby's mouth. In all honesty it scared her.

 

"Sam, your Mommy called me because she thought you were sick."

 

"Oh. I'm not sick Mary. I'm fine. See?"

 

And when her baby smiled it was a smile full of menace and acid. And then her son's bed was in flames. Dark black-purple flames edged in orange. The smell of burning bed sheets filled the air and that was when Missouri yelled at Mary to grab Dean and Daniel.

 

"Go, Mary! Get the twins and go! I'll follow shortly with Sam."

 

"My name is Samael you bitch."

 

And then Mary was shoved out of the room roughly by Missouri. And even though Mary wanted to stay she knew she had to get Dean and Daniel.

 

And when she got to their room she noticed that Dean was sitting up in his bed, his green-hazel eyes peering at her as if he knew.

 

And so she gently awoke Daniel, shaking him gently.

 

"Danny, c'mon we have to get going."

 

"Where we goin'?" he asked rubbing his eyes sleepily.

 

"We're going to go for a ride, baby."

 

And just as she was getting Daniel up and moving a loud crash shook the house.

 

"Mom?! What was that? Where is Sammy?"

 

"Missouri is helping your baby brother Daniel. Now please baby c'mon. You to Dean!"

 

And as she clutched Daniel's hand and as she reached out for Dean's she noticed that her eldest son's eyes had changed... they were the most brilliant green she'd ever seen.

 

"Dean? Baby? What is it?" she asked as she continued to reach for his hand.

 

"I have to help Sammy, Mom. He needs me. I have to calm him."

 

And then before she knew it Dean was running down the hall towards Sam's room.

 

"Dean! Get back here!" She said, holding Daniel tightly to her now and chasing after her eldest son. He ran right up to Sam's door, which was closed now, and pushed it open. And that was when smoke filtered out of the room, thick and pungent. The smell of burnt flesh colored the air. Mary had to hold her breath and cover Daniel's mouth.

 

And as she walked up to the doorway and peered in, squinting through the smoke she noticed that the dark purple flames had receded and Dean was holding Sam tightly. Hugging him. Telling him, "Everything is OK Sammy. I'm here. It's me Dean."

 

And she watched in awe as those violet eyes looked into Dean's and they faded to their normal soft hazel. And she watched as everything around her that was ruined seemed to become fuzzy and then faded to reveal that everything was as it once was.

 

And Missouri, who was laying on the floor, parts of her skin burned and charred, stood up and both women watched as the burns and charred flesh fizzled and returned to normal.

 

"Missouri?" Mary questioned, stepping further into the room.

 

"Mary, I'm fine. I promise. And so is Sammy," the black woman said staring over at Dean who was cradling Sam to him tightly.

 

"But there are some things I must tell you. About your Sammy."


	8. 7 ~ heads will roll

_Lawerence, KS_

 

Dean stared silently as Samael smiled.

 

"You made it possible for the switch to happen?" Dean heard Missouri say.

 

"Yes. Unlike me, Samuel hasn't tapped into all of his psychic gifts. He can only get visions, be they of the future, the past, or another life. I, on the other hand, can tap into all of his psychic gifts."

 

"And just how did you come to be, Samael? You aren't another Sam I take it. What are you?"

 

"Well, Missouri, since you aren't the one I killed, I guess can I tell you before I kill you."

 

Dean just gaped at his brother... who wasn't his brother, clearly.

 

"I first appeared with Samuel was six-years-old. I manifested all the way back then because of the demon blood that Azazel had spilt into Samuel's mouth as a baby. But instead of Mary dying, John did."

 

Those violet eyes flicked back to Dean and he suddenly found that he could move.

 

"My father died in this other life? And my mother is alive?"

 

"And so is your twin brother, Daniel. But I've digressed. Back to what I was telling you. I manifested due to the demon blood, because somehow an angelic force interfered with Azazel's plan. Mary knows about me, but not you or Daniel. She just couldn't tell her beloved boys that I exist. She really feared what it would do to you Dean. You and Samuel were always close. Still are... except for the fact that you won't love Samuel the way he wants. Which is why I switched him and your Sam."

 

"So, you're a demon?" Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother.

 

"No. And yes. I'm some where in between. Thanks to you in the other world I have never been able to fully possess Samuel. Your love prevents that. But here's the thing. I'm no longer in that world. I'm in this one. You don't love Samuel Campbell, you love Sam Winchester. And be it far from me to take advantage of that... so... let's watch as the heads roll! Shall we?! Azazel will be so proud of me!"

 

And Dean couldn't do anything then, he couldn't move. He was stuck, like a stone. And he couldn't help Missouri as the demon named Samael inflicted the most horrendous torture on her before he sliced off her head with just a motion of his fingers.


	9. 8 ~ shackled

_Lincoln, NE_

 

Sam awoke sweating and tangled up in the sheets of the ed that he was sleeping in. He sat up and tried to disentangle himself from the sheets, wiping at the the sweat dripping off of his face as he went. His eyes frantically scanned the darkness of the bedroom. There seemed to be nothing there. He was already a little freaked out over the fact that they were staying in a cabin this time around instead of a couple motel rooms, but what could he do?

 

He stood up and walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway. That was when he noticed that there was a figure standing not far from him, shrouded in shadows.

 

"Sammy. Are you alright?"

 

And then the figure was walking towards him and Sam could see clearly that it was Dean.

 

"Ah, yeah. I just need to use the bathroom"

 

"You sure that's it? I heard you whimpering and thrashing about..." Dean said, his hazel-green eyes staring into Sam's hazel eyes with what appeared to be uncertainty and concern.

 

"I'm fine Dean, really. Just a bad dream is all." Sam wasn't even sure that's what it had been; it had felt more like a vision than dream.

 

"I think you should tell us, Samuel. It's about time we talk anyways, son."

 

And Sam turned towards the soft voice that had spoken and looked upon his mother; or rather the other Sam's mother. She stood there with a shotgun in her hands, her green eyes narrowed, glaring at him.

 

"Wh-what do you mean?"

 

"I mean, it's time that you, myself, and your brothers have a little chat. C'mon now, son."

 

Sam stared silently as his mother walked down the hallway and into the small kitchen. Dean followed her and Sam saw that Daniel was already in the kitchen.

 

So, he followed and took the last chair at the table, sliding into it warily and a little afraid.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Mary began to speak.

 

"When you were six-years-old, Sammy, something happened. Something so astonishing and terrifying I told myself I was never going to let it happen again or tell you and your brothers. But after seeing how you've been the past few days, I feel as if I should tell you boys."

 

Sam just stared at his mother, waiting for her to continue.

 

"A dark force resides inside you, Samuel. And when you were six-years-old it manifested. It damaged your entire room, and nearly killed Missouri. But when Dean came to you, he calmed you somehow, causing the dark force to go dormant, and everything that had been destroyed and ravaged by this force just flickered away, like a mirage. And everything was alright. Normal almost."

 

"Mom, why didn't you tell me or Dean this before? We deserved to know! Especially if that force is still inside Sam!"

 

"I know, Danny. I know. But I'm telling you now aren't I?"

 

Daniel shook his head in resigned agreement and let his mother continue.

 

"When you were 13-years-old, that same force manifested for a second time. This time Missouri didn't survive, it killed her. And I had the unfortunate pleasure of being the only witness. Daniel and Dean were locked out of the room and the force wouldn't let them in to help. Only after my pleading did it spare me and release its hold on you."

 

Sam noticed that his mother seemed to deflate, her face actually showing her age.

 

"I'm beginning to suspect that the force is once again trying to take you over. To gain control. And this time, for good. And son, I won't let that happen. I'm sorry. I just can't."

 

That was when Mary stood up and motioned for Sam to follow her. What she planned on doing, Sam wasn't sure, but knew he didn't want to find out.

 

"Mom, where are we...?" Sam just let the question drop as the shackles came into view.

 

No..."

 

"I'm sorry, Samuel. I have to. I don't want to. But I can't let that thing kill again."

 

And Sam could do nothing as he was forcefully shackled to the chains in the small, windowless room that he had been led in to; not a single damn thing.

 

He watched as his mother turned her back on him and walked out, followed closely by Daniel. Then it was just him and Dean left. Sam gazed into Dean's hazel-green eyes, seeing sorrow, anger, love, and uncertainty reflecting back at him.

 

"Dean..."

 

"I'm sorry, Sammy. It's what Mom wants. And... And I'm sorry."

 

And then Dean walked out, closing the door behind him. Darkness surrounded Sam and the only noise that was heard was the dead bolt falling into place.


	10. 9 ~ samantha winchester

_Lawrence, KS_

 

Samuel drifted in the murky darkness of his mind, unsure of what had happened or where he was, but when he finally opened his eyes, the sight before him had him shrinking in on himself. Blood was everywhere and Dean was laying on the floor, his shirt in tatters, ropes tying his wrists together tightly.

 

He slowly moved forward and laid a hand on Dean's forehead, caressing softly, brushing at the soft hair that fell across Dean's forehead. Dean's face was pale, his bottom lip split open, dried blood smeared down his chin. His right arm had four deep cuts which were still bleeding profusely. Samuel noticed the large gash below the right side of Dean's ribs; it wasn't as deep as the one's on his arm, but looked just as bad. That one had thankfully clotted from the look of it.

 

When Dean's eyes fluttered open and focused on Samuel's face, Samuel felt himself flood with relief, his breath coming out on a sigh; he hadn't even realized that he'd held his breath.

 

"Sammy?"

 

Samuel blinked and then smiled tentatively. "Yeah. It's me. What, ah, happened?" His eyes flicked around the room, the walls of Missouri's living room splattered with crimson streaks and there was a rather large pool of blood congealing on the floor a few feet away from Dean. Blood was pooled underneath Dean as well and Samuel cringed at the sight.

 

His eyes came back to look into Dean's and he recoiled away from the cold and harsh look in Dean's eyes. "D-Dean?"

 

"You did this... You did this..."

 

"W-What do you mean?"

 

Dean struggled to a sitting position, his breathing ragged and pained. When he was sitting as upright as possible, he reached for his .45, taking it in his hand and cocking the safety off.

 

"You did this! You killed Missouri and then tortured me! I-I just want my Sammy back and if this is the way it has to be, then by God I'll kill you just to get him back!"

 

Samuel's eyes went wide and he suddenly realized that this was his premonition come to fruition. He wanted to wrap his arms around Dean and hold him close and tell him that he couldn't have done this, that it had to have been a shapeshifter or something. And at the same time he wanted to bolt, run as far away from Dean as possible.

 

"D-Dean... Please. I-I couldn't h-have done this! I don't remember doing any of this! You have to believe me!"

 

Dean's eyes narrowed and the cold, harsh look never left them.

 

"Fuck you. I want my Sammy back. Now!"

 

Just as it seemed Dean was going to fire the gun, a huge swirling blackhole opened up in the room. It was like they had been sucked into a vacuum, the air was hallow and it was hard to breath. Electricity flashed and the lights flickered like crazy. There was a howling whistle shrieking all around them and Samuel felt wetness trickle from his ears. He coward away from the huge blackhole and then stared in shock as a girl and an older black man stepped from the swirling blackness.

 

And just as suddenly as the hole had appeared, it vanished. The lights went back to normal and both Samuel and Dean could only stare at the girl and man.

 

Samuel was shocked to see that the girl looked almost identical to himself, only much more soft and well like a girl. But the hair, the eyes, even the damn freckle just below the left eye was the same.

 

She looked at Samuel and then at Dean. Then she spoke.

 

"I wouldn't shoot him if I were you. You need him. More than you know."

 

"Who the hell are you?"

 

"Name's Samantha. Samantha Winchester."


	11. 10 ~ damned be the child

_Lawerence, KS ~ circa 1996_

 

It was Sammy's birthday and he was turning thirteen. Mary had everything ready as best as she could. The table was set and ready with a chocolate birthday cake - complete with thirteen candles - and a tub of neopolitan ice cream. Dean and Daniel had handled the decorating, which wasn't the best, but Mary was certain that her youngest would love it simply because his older brothers had done it - for him.

 

She turned and walked back to the kitchen where Missouri was waiting for her brownies to finish cooling before cutting them and placing them on a plate. Mary opened Missouri's cupboard and pulled down five plates and five cups. Then she grabbed a box of plastic silverware and headed back to the dining room, setting everything on the table and then she lit the candles.

 

"We're home!"

 

Mary turned around suddenly at the sound of Daniel's voice echoing through the small house. She hurriedly switched off the light and called to Missouri as quietly as possible.

 

And as the two women waited, holding their breath and not making a sound, Mary watched as her two oldest came into the room and quietly hid, waiting for Sam to come into the dining room.

 

"Hey, where did you guys go? Why are the lights off?" Sam said as he came into the dining room, quickly flipping on the light switch and that was when they all jumped out and yelled:

 

"Happy Birthday, Sam!"

 

Mary smiled warmly at her youngest with simple love and affection. The look on Sam's face was one of complete surprise and elation.

 

"You guys!"

 

"Hey, don't even Sammy. Daniel and I worked really hard with Mom and Missouri to get everything as perfect as possible."

 

Mary watched as Sam glared at Dean and said, "I wasn't going to say anything bad, you dummy. I'm just so excited and happy. I wasn't expecting this when I got from school today."

 

"Wanna blow out your candles so we can eat? I'm starving, man."

 

"Fine, Dan, fine. I'll make my wish."

 

Mary laid her arm around Sam's shoulders and then watched happily as Sam blew out all thirteen candles in one breath.

 

Cheers and claps sounded after and then Missouri stepped forward and began to cut the cake. Of course the first piece went to Sam and Mary scooped out a huge chunk of ice cream for Sam; making sure to get all three flavors in the one scoop.

 

After they had their fill of cake, brownies, and ice cream all of them handed their gifts to Sam. He unwrapped each one reverently, almost as if the wrapping paper were just as meaningful as what was inside.

 

He opened his gifts from Dean and Daniel first, exclaiming with joy at seeing that they had given him a knife whose blade was engraved with Latin symbols.

 

"It's a demon-killing knife. Dean and I figured it was time you had something to protect yourself with and Mom didn't think it was a bad idea."

 

"Thanks you guys. I like it."

 

When he opened his gift from his mother, Mary held her breath. But when he saw what she had given him, his eyes filled with tears and a soft smile came to his face. It was a picture of his father, John, and herself when they had first met.

 

"Mom, thanks."

 

"You're welcome, Sammy. I know how much you miss him and I felt this was one of the best things I could have gotten you." She gently kissed him on his head and then he moved onto Missouri's gift.

 

After unwrapping her gift he just stared at it a little perplexed.

 

"It's a book of spells and incantations. I figured it would be useful later on, when you start hunting with your mother and brothers." She smiled warmly at him as he gingerly fingered the old leather covering and worn pages.

 

"Thank you Missouri. It will probably come in handy. Probably a lot." He smiled at her and then began to leaf through it, while alternately looking at the knife and the picture.

 

Mary looked to her oldest sons and said, "Boys, can you help me and Missouri clear the table? We wanna get ready to play some board games."

 

"Alright, but please tell me we aren't going to play Monopoly!"

 

"Shut up Dan! Grab the cake and lets go," Dean said, holding the brownies and ice cream.

 

After they left to the kitchen Mary walked over to Missouri and began talking about a possible hunt that she was thinking of heading out on.

 

"I don't want to leave so soon after Sam's birthday, but it seems like it could be a lead towards the demon that killed the boys' father. Would you mind if I left Sam in your care for a week or two?"

 

"I don't mind one bit, Mary. It'll allow Sam to continue going to school and I know you'll call every night to talk to Sam."

 

"Thank you Miss-"

 

"Don't you think you should ask me what I think?"

 

The chilling tone of Sam's voice stopped Mary mid sentence and made her blood run cold.

 

She slowly turned and instead of seeing her baby's beautiful hazel eyes, dark smoldering violet eyes peered back at her.

 

"What are you...?"

 

"Did you really think I was going to be gone forever?" A cruel smile graced her Sammy's mouth.

 

"I... We..."

 

"Mary get out of here. I'll deal with -"

 

"No. Mary stays. You, however, Missouri. You won't be here very long."

 

Mary went to move, to go to her son, to try and help, but found that she was stuck in place. Frozen.

 

She struggled for a few seconds and then looked towards her son.

 

"What have you done to me?"

 

"I've just frozen you, is all. You'll unfreeze when I decide to get to you, Mother dear." She noticed that Sam was fingering the demon-killing knife with interest.

 

"You know, this is a good demon-killing knife, but I wonder what would happen if it were to be used on a human? What do you think will happen?"

 

"You're going to use that on me?"

 

"No, not you Mother. Missouri."

 

Mary glanced as best as she could at her friend, seeing terror come to the woman's face.

 

"No, please. Sammy if you can hear me in there, please come back to us. Stop this demonic presence. Please!"

 

"Sammy can't hear you. It's just me. And I want to have fun. After all it is my birthday!"

 

And Mary could do nothing as her son advanced upon her friend and began to slice deeply into the woman's flesh.


	12. 11 ~ reality's a knockin'... you gonna answer?

_Lincoln, NE_

 

Sam drifted somewhere between sleep and reality. Shadows flickered and a suffocating fog surrounded him in coils and swirls. He felt as if he was falling, falling into another time, another place... another dimension.

 

Then a voice sounded in his head.

 

A young boy's voice, husky and rough.

 

_Don't be afraid. I'm here to help you._

 

Sam suddenly saw the image of a young man - about sixteen and really tall - with ash blonde hair and pale green eyes. The young man looked like he was in pain and he had a scar slashing down the right side of his face.

 

_I don't understand. Who are you? What’s going on? Where am I?_

 

_There isn't much time to explain, Sam Winchester, but my name is Adam. And my sister asked me to contact you._

 

Sam didn't know if he was just too far gone and this was all just a really good hallucination or if this was truly real. The last thing he remembered was his mother...

 

_She isn't your mother. She is Samuel Campbell's mother. You're mother is dead, Sam. You're in an alternate reality. One that is just as real as your own reality and mine._

 

Sam shook his head, trying to get rid of the voice. And then suddenly a huge swirling black hole erupted in the room, sucking all of the air into a vacuum and the boy was there, in front of him.

 

"If you won't listen to me in your own head, then damn it, I'll talk to you here."

 

Sam could only stare up at the boy. The swirling black hole was gone and there was only silence echoing loudly in his ears. The chains holding him prisoner were beginning to chafe his wrists.

 

"Alright. I'll listen to what you have to say, but if my mom comes in here and sees you..."

 

"She is NOT your mother, Sam! Listen to me. Your birth mother died 23 years ago, when you were just a baby. Just like my sister's mom. This is not your reality. This is another Sam's reality. You've been switched by an evil presence that resides in Samuel Campbell. In this reality, Dean Campbell, Samuel's older brother was able to keep the presence at bay. But with them never acting on their feelings, the presence grew stronger. Until it fulfilled Samuel's one greatest wish: to be with Dean. But now... well now all Hell is breaking loose, the evil presence has grown stronger and since Dean Campbell isn't there to keep Samuel in check..."

 

The realness of what this boy, Adam, was saying hit him full in the face. This wasn't his world. This wasn't his family. Suddenly Dean's face flickered into Sam's mind, looking sweet, handsome, and damn it, sexy as a CK ad.

 

He wanted his Dean. He wanted to go home.

 

"How do I get back to my reality? How do we..."

 

"Dean Campbell is the only way you can get home," Adam interrupted, adding a few seconds later, "and sadly, the only way I can back to my sister."

 

Adam eyed the chains binding Sam to the chair.

 

"Hmm... maybe this will help."

 

And suddenly Adam was surrounded by eerie bluish-white light, he was whispering a strange language that Sam had never heard before. Adam flicked his hand towards the chains, which glowed for a few seconds, and then fell to the floor with a loud clank.

 

Sam stood up shakily, rubbing at his poor wrists gently.

 

"Now, where do we find Dean?"

 

Sam was just about to answer, when the lock on the door rattled and the door swung open.


	13. 12 ~ two weeks later...

_Bobby’s Place ~ 8 P.M. CT_

 

Dean Winchester could only stare in awe as Samantha’s eyes, so much like his Sammy’s eyes, flickered from their gentle hazel to an intense, blinding blue color and wisps of magical energy began swirling around her. A rather large magical tome floated in the air before her and then the magical energy around her shot forward towards Samuel, enveloping him tightly.

 

Then Samuel started screaming.

 

Dean had to cringe away from the sound, a sound he swore he never wanted to hear again. As Samuel continued screaming, Samantha kept chanting the strange and ancient words that were written inside the tome. And that was something to hear. It wasn’t Latin, or Greek like Dean had originally thought. It was Reloh, an even deader language than Latin and millenia older, from what Moses had told him.

 

Reloh was also a magic infused language. Every syllable in Reloh was pure magic which meant that one word carried on helluva punch. Samantha had told Dean that back in her world, Reloh was used by only Druids, Witches, and Witch-Hunters (Hunters who were also Witches - Samantha said that in her world Witches were all good and actually helped Hunters whenever they needed it and vice versa).

 

Dean was jolted from his thoughts when he found that he had been flung across the room and after a few disorienting moments managed to ask,

 

“What in the FUCK was that?”

 

A weak voice answered,

 

“Did it work?”

 

“Yes it did. And Dean, that was the Magics of Reloh. The Sigil is complete.”

 

Dean stood up, rubbing his head slightly, and looked over at Samuel.

 

He was no longer tied to the chair, but was now standing, his shirt having torn in a jagged tear across the middle of his chest. His hair was a little mussed and he looked a little pale. But other than that, Dean didn’t see anything different.

 

Then he saw the Sigil that was glowing a deep dark crimson on Samuel’s left pectoral muscle. It was in the shape of a Triquetra, only there were little circles on each point.

 

Dean looked towards Samantha. “Is he going to be alright?”

 

“I would think. Though I’m not completely sure. Your world doesn’t have the magics of Reloh so I’m not sure. We’ll just have to keep an eye on him.”

 

“D-Dean?”

 

Dean turned towards Samuel, who had come over to him while he’d been engaged with Samantha. Damn the boy looked pale.

 

“Yeah, Sammy?”

 

“I don't thin-”

 

Samuel suddenly pitched forward and Dean had to use all of his weight to catch him before the boy smacked his face off the wooden floor of Bobby’s library. As he carried Samuel to the small couch near the windows Bobby came in then and said,

 

“What are you idgits up too? And what in the HELL was that noise? And what’s wrong with Sam?”

 

“It is nothing Robert, we are taking care of him as best as we can,” Moses said, looking from Bobby to Dean and Samuel.

 

“Yeah well, that ain’t good ‘nuff. And don’t call me ‘Robert’. It’s Bobby.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Dean only half listened to the older guys talk, he was too busy tending to Samuel. No sense in having the boy die or whatever, especially since Samuel was the key to getting his Sammy back.

 

“Dean, he’ll be ok. I promise. Just get me some basil, salt, and rosemary. Hurry,” Samantha said, coming to kneel before Samuel. She looked so much like Samuel and Sammy that he was finding it just a little hard to concentrate. But he went into Bobby’s kitchen anyway.

 

He grabbed the herbs and salt and then hurried back to Samantha with them.

 

“Good. Now get me that dagger over there.”

 

He grabbed it and handed it to her. When he did, she quickly sliced her palm and Samuel’s palm open. She asked Dean to sprinkle salt in each wound and then crush the basil and rosemary together and then sprinkle them in the wounds as well.

 

Once that was done she clasped her’s and Samuel’s hands together and quietly uttered one syllable of Reloh.

 

There was a slight popping noise and a small second of disorientation for Dean, and then Samuel was coughing and sitting up.

 

“Easy there, Samuel. Easy now. How’re ya feeling?”

 

“Like shit. But I’m alright. Where’s Dean?”

 

“I’m right here, Sammy,” Dean said. He stared into Samuel’s hazel eyes and watched as relief flooded into them, replacing the fear. He also saw the gigantor amount of love that was in Samuel’s eyes. Love that was for him. Or rather, who he should have been. Samuel’s Dean.

 

“I think we should give Samuel here a little bit of time to rest. Samantha, Moses, Dean, let’s head outside.”

 

“Comin' Bobby,” Dean said, suddenly finding it very hard to tear himself, and his eyes, from Samuel.

 

“You should go, Dean. I’ll be fine. Just need t’rest,” Samuel said, relaxing a bit on Bobby’s old couch.

 

“Sure, there kiddo. I’ll be back soon.” Dean quickly brushed his hand through Samuel’s hair, mussing it up even more, but finding a little comfort in the brief touch.

 

Once outside, Bobby laid into Samantha and Moses.

 

“Ok. Here’s the thing. You show up here two friggin’ weeks ago with Dean and Sam and tell me that Sam’s not really Sam, but an alternate Sam who’s got this demonic split-personality and that you need my help. Fine. I let you stay here. Now you try some damned spell from some language that doesn’t even exist here to try and contain the demonic alter-ego. So please, Samantha, Moses, please tell me that it worked so we can try to get rid of the thing and return things to normal.” Bobby suddenly looked at Dean, "Or as normal as we can get."

 

Dean blushed at that and looked away.

 

“I can’t say that the containment spell worked. But as long as the Sigil is there, we should be fine. Samuel should be fine. It at least buys us time to figure out our next move. Which by the way, I would like to get on that as soon as possible. My little brother is still trapped with your Sam and alter-Dean. And we have no way of knowing what’s going on.”

 

“Yes we do,” Dean finally spoke up.

 

Three pairs of eyes looked at him.

 

“What do you mean?” Samantha said, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

 

“Samuel. He gets visions. Still does. Only now they’re reversed. He doesn’t see me and Sam anymore. He sees my Sam and his Dean. And I’m guessing it’s the same way for my Sammy. Their linked. The only difference is you, Samantha. You’re not linked to them psychicly. You’re linked to them magically and metaphysically. If we can get Samuel to use his psychic connection with my Sam, then maybe we can somehow communicate with them and find out what they’re trying to do.”

 

“I follow you. And if we can find out what they’re trying to do, then maybe we can help them by using the magic of Reloh. And then once all of us are together, then maybe we can defeat the demonic alter-ego.”

 

“And then we can all go back to the way things are suppose to be.”

 

Dean smiled at Samantha and then at Bobby.

 

“Alright. Once Samuel starts feeling better, we can put things into motion.”


	14. 13 ~ tears

_Lebanon, KS ~ 12:01 A.M. CT_

 

Dean Campbell rubbed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion of too many nights up perusing the tomes, scrolls, and books on the shelves of the hidden bunker. He sighed and then stood up, arching his back, hearing and feeling the satisfying pop as his bones and muscles uncramped. He walked from the library to the kitchen, intending to get a glass of water, or maybe something stronger, when a tall silhouette in the doorway stopped him short.

 

"Dean..."

 

Dean took a few steps forward, his hands reaching out to cup the other man's face.

 

"Sammy, what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

 

Tears indeed were streaking down the younger man's face, and his hazel eyes seemed almost dark brown in their color.

 

"I... I'm not sure. I just..." Dean watched as the other man's eyes clouded with confusion. "I don't know what's what anymore. I just need to... He wants you so much. He loves you so much, Dean. It hurts. Why won't you touch _me_ anymore? Have _I_ done something wrong?"

 

Dean pressed his lips tenderly against the other man's, wanting to reassure him. To let him know that he was there for him. He felt the younger man respond, a sigh falling from his soft lips as they kissed.

 

Dean found himself falling into the warmth of this man, so much like his Sammy. Exactly like his Sammy. But not...

 

He broke the kiss, taking a few steps back from the younger man.

 

A pain, so sharp and deep shuddered through his heart.

 

This was not his Sammy.

 

He swallowed back the lump in his throat and looked at the other man. A look of astonishment and ashamed confusion gracing his handsome features. "Oh, God... No. I can't be... falling for you. I love my Dean. And... And you're not my Dean. I'm not even your Sammy!"

 

Dean didn't move as the young man fled from the room, his feet slapping hard against the floor. A door slammed so hard that Dean jumped a little at the sound. He swallowed again, feeling tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

 

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. He moved quickly into the kitchen, now fully knowing he needed a strong drink.

 

A few minutes later he sat in his own room, a bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the nightstand. He palmed his glass, swirling the golden liquid, and that was when he finally let his tears flow.

 

He missed his Sammy. He wanted his Sammy. No, not wanted. Needed.

 

He hurt inside. Didn't help matters much to finally know why his little brother had been acting strange for the last three weeks. And to think his mom thought it was because of some evil thing inside of his brother. Damn her! Damn himself for not catching it. For not realizing that the man he loved wasn't the same. He should have tried harder to protect him.

 

He threw the glass at the farthest wall, smiling through his tears as the glass shattered, sending liquid and shards flying. Then his smile faded. He closed his eyes and the memory of the day before all this strangeness happened began to unfold for his mind's eye to watch. The day he broke his brother's heart...

 

_**He was laying on the hood of the Impala, the sun shining down on him, warming his skin. He enjoyed the sounds of the small town they were staying in during the last hunt. The sound of children playing, cars rushing by, and the sounds of the animals. His mom and twin had gone off to do some research. He was left here with Sammy.** _

__

_**"Hey, Dean."** _

__

_**He turned his head to look at his younger brother. Sammy was standing there, shoulders stooped as always, the sun creating a halo around his tousled and curly hair. A smile played on his lips, making his dimples flash, and his eyes shone with a soft happiness.** _

__

_**"Hey, Sammy," he said, sitting up, smiling at his younger brother.** _

__

_**"Mind if I join you?"** _

__

_**"Yeah, hop on up."** _

__

_**Dean smiled to himself as his little brother jumped up on the hood, causing the Impala to rock slightly. Sammy was the only one he ever let do stuff like this, Dan didn't even have this privilege.** _

__

_**"So, Mom and Dan went to do some research, huh?"** _

__

_**Dean glanced at Sammy. He was staring off into the distance, but his question seemed more than what he'd asked. Then Dean felt a slight touch on his hand.** _

__

_**He stared downward, his eyes following Sammy's fingers gently skimming over the skin on his hands. The touch was... bliss. If Dean was honest. He loved it when Sammy touched him. And he loved when they...** _

__

_**He blinked his eyes, quickly banishing that train of thought. They hadn't done that since, well, since Sammy had turned twenty-one. They had almost gotten caught by their mom and Dan. It had caused Dean to rethink what they were doing.** _

__

_**But he still remembered how it felt. To be with Sammy like that. Their bodies melding together as if they were made for each other.** _

__

_**"Yeah, they went to do some research. Won't be back til late, Mom said."** _

__

_**"Hmm."** _

__

_**Dean's gaze flickered to Sammy's face. He blinked a few times taken aback by the look in Sammy's hazel eyes. There was longing, lust, and love mixed together almost beautifully in his little brother's golden-greenish-brown eyes.** _

__

_**Dean felt his pulse quicken and his heart thud a little louder. He licked his lips, wishing, wanting, needing...** _

__

_**And then they were kissing, his hands tangling in Sammy's curly dark brown hair. He felt his brother's hands snake through his shoulder-length locks and tug gently.** _

__

_**Their tongues warred for a few minutes and then Sammy caved and gave into Dean's dominance. That was when Dean thoroughly invaded his brother's mouth, indulging in the warmth and velvety soft feel of Sammy.** _

__

_**Sammy purred deep in his throat and Dean growled in response. Even though it had been a few years since their last stolen encounter together, they still had it. They still felt the passion and need that was their love.** _

__

_**But, then, Dean felt a warning signal go off in his head.** _

__

_**They were brothers!** _

__

_**What would their mom think?** _

__

_**He pulled away from the kiss, Sammy whimpering at the loss of connection. Of love.** _

__

_**Dean squeezed his eyes shut.** _

__

_**"Sammy... we can't."** _

__

_**He heard the sharp intake of breath and opened his eyes to see...** _

__

_**Pain, hurt, betrayal. All of it burning in his Sammy's eyes.** _

__

_**"W-what do you mean?"** _

__

_**"We can't, Sammy. We're brothers."** _

__

_**"So? Dean..."** _

__

_**"No."** _

__

_**"It never mattered to you before!"** _

__

_**"I didn't realize what was happening Sammy. Now I do. We can't do this. We..."** _

__

_**He stopped short when he saw the hurt and angry look in his brother's eyes.** _

__

_**Then he saw Sammy's bottom lip trembling.** _

__

_**"Sammy... Please..."** _

__

_**His little brother jumped down from the hood of the Impala and walk briskly back to the front door.** _

__

_**Dean got up to follow after, his arm reaching out to grab Sammy's upper arm.** _

__

_**To stop him.** _

__

_**"Let go of me, Dean!"** _

__

_**Dean felt as if Sammy had slapped him. He let go that fast.** _

__

_**Sammy turned to look at him, tears falling silently down his face.** _

__

_**Dean wanted so much to wipe them away. To take away his brother's - lover's - pain.** _

__

_**"You don't get it, do you, Dean? I love you, damn it! So much. You're the only one who keeps me grounded. Who... who doesn't make me feel like a monster!"** _

__

_**"Sammy... You're not-"** _

__

_**"Shut up, Dean! You apparently don't love me the same as I love you. So, save it!"** _

__

_**Sammy's chest heaved, Dean could see how hard it was for his little brother to breathe, his emotions that strong. Dean felt his heart breaking. He felt as if there was no coming back from this. No way to fix what he'd just done.** _

__

_**"You're too worried about what Mom would say? Well, what about Dad? Do you think he'd care that we'd found love with one another? NO! He loved us no matter what. But you're just too afraid, Dean. So, fine. We'll go back to how we were. And you won't have to feel dirty or gross because of me. Because of this. We'll be brothers and nothing more."** _

__

_**And with that Sammy walked inside, slamming the door behind him.** _

__

_**Dean just stood there, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. He felt himself choke up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.** _

__

_**He cursed inwardly. Then he spun around and hopped in the Impala, gunned the engine, and then sped off down the road.** _

__

_**He wanted to get away. From his pain. From his heartache. And from the heartbroken, devastated look on his lover's face.** _

 

 

Dean let the tears fall down his face, hot and stinging. He had forgotten one important fact. He'd not only broken Sammy's heart, but he'd broken his own.

 

And, now, all he wanted to do was go up to his brother and tell him how sorry he was, for everything. To tell him that he loved him. More than anything or anyone else in this world. He wanted to hold his Sammy. Kiss his lips, feel the love they shared grow stronger with each touch, each look, each whispered word.

 

As he continued to cry Dean made one promise to himself. One way or another he was going to get _HIS_ Sammy back and tell him just how much he loved him, everyone else be damned.


End file.
